speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
