I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
