Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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