I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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