separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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