I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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