I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
