She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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