dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need to align my fucking chakras
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
