You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
