He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just gift wrapped bread.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
