girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
