Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
