he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
