Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
