Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
