Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
