a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
