How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
