You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
