dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
