I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
