and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
