R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
