i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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