Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
