He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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