the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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