.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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