Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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