i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
even my farts smell like vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have post one night stand depression
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