That's when you crack a 10am beer
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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