rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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