Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
