SEEEEXXX PLEASE
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
