Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
