I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How does one acquire holy water?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
