you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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