At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
