shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i've created a new STD.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
