if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
