Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
