life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
