if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
