My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
