is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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