Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
