If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who died my cat blue again?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
