FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
