you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
where does the pee come out of this thing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
