We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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