saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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